WELL...IT'S GOING TO BE THE BEGINNING TO THE END OF US HAVING YOUR TRUCK JUST SITTING IN THE YARD.  WE NEED TO CLEAN THE YARD UP AND I ASKED (BY TEXT) IF YOUR ''BUDDY'' / TYLER ~ WHO IS NO LONGER LITTLE, HE'S A GROWN YOUNG MAN, IF HE STILL WANTED UR TRUCK.  HE SAID YES.  SO, WE'VE GOT TO GET A FEW THINGS TO GET IT RUNNING AND DRIVABLE.  WE'RE GOING TO MISS IT, BUT AT THE SAME TIME ~ AT LEAST IT'LL BE IN USE AND NOT JUST SITTING AND ROTTING / RUSTING.  YOUR DADDY SAID THAT IT COULDN'T BE SOLD AND HE SAID THAT HE WOULD NEVER SELL IT.  I HOPE IT HELPS HIM OUT.  EVERYONE NEEDS A TRUCK AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIFE.  WISH YOU WERE HERE! MISS YOU STILL ~ ALWAYS WILL.  LOVE YOU MY JARRETT ~ ALWAYS, MAMA

TODAY: DECEMBER 31st, 2023.  IT'S NOW BEEN 15yrs. SINCE YOU RAN YOUR LAST CALL. I KNOW THAT I SAY THAT EACH/EVERY YEAR, BUT I WOULD NEVER HAVE THOUGHT THAT IN A MILLION YEARS, I WOULD HAVE LIVED THIS LONG WITHOUT 1 OF MY BOYS. I HAD ALREADY WRITTEN SOMETHING DOWN AND WHEN I WENT TO ADD A PICTURE, IT DELETED EVERYTHING, SO, NOW I'M HAVING TO START ALL OVER AGAIN.  WE'VE BEEN GETTING A FEW TEXTS FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHO REMEMBER YOU AND WANT TO LET US KNOW THAT THEY ARE THINKING OF US AS WELL.  THAT'S VERY NICE AND THOUGHTFUL OF THEM TO TAKE THE TIME TO SHARE A FEW MOMENTS WITH US. I'M A LITTLE UNDER THE WEATHER RIGHT AT THE TIME AND I'M NOT SURE IF I'LL FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING TONIGHT TO MARK YOUR ANGELVERSARY. (IT'S AFTER 3am AND I'VE BEEN UP/ON HERE SINCE 2). IT'S ALWAYS EITHER RAINING, LIGHTLY RAINING OR TOO WINDY TO DO BALLOONS OR SKY LANTERNS OR YOUR DADDY IS TOO SCARED TO DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS BECAUSE HE'S AFRAID SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN...WHO FREAKING CARES!! THE GROUND/TREES AND EVERYTHING ELSE ARE ALWAYS SOAKED FROM ALL THE RAIN WE GET DURING THIS TIME OF THE YEAR.  I'M TIRED OF BEING THE ONLY 1 TO DO OR THINK OF SOMETHING TO DO TO SHOW THAT WE REMEMBER OR THINK OF YOU. I THINK OF YOU EACH/EVERY DAY! I VISIT YOUR WEBSITE AND LIGHT A CANDLE EVERY DAY. (YOUR DADDY HAS SINCE DECIDED TO GO GET A FEW BALLOONS & WE'LL RELEASE 'EM WHEN IT'S TIME).  THE OTHER PEOPLE WHO VISIT AND LIGHT CANDLES ARE PARENTS WHO HAVE NEVER MET YOU AND WANT TO PAY THEIR RESPECT TO YOU AND WILL ACTUALLY LIGHT A CANDLE. THEY UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT IT FEELS LIKE AND UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL. IT'S VERY NICE AND THOUGHTFUL OF 'EM BECAUSE THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE TO. I APPRECIATE EACH/EVERY CANDLE THAT THEY LIGHT. WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER TO OUR FAMILY. KEVIN AND HIS WIFE ASHLEY HAVE HAD A LITTLE BOY. HE IS KEVIN MADE OVER!! THIS CHRISTMAS WAS HIS FIRST. HE ENJOYED OPENING HIS GIFTS. WE ALSO HAVE A NEW RESCUE KITTEN...NIBBLES IS HIS NAME...FOR OBVIOUS REASONS! I WAS THE THING/OBJECT THAT HE NIBBLED ON ~ SO, I JUST HAD TO GIVE HIIM THAT NAME. RAINY DIDN'T LIKE HIM AT FIRST, BUT NOW...HE LIKES HIM. THEY'RE FUN TO WATCH. WELL, I'M NOT SURE IF YOU'VE NOTICED THAT YOUR BROTHER HAS CHANGED HIS LOOKS A LITTLE. HE'S LET HIS HAIR GROW OUT EVER SINCE HE QUIT THE FIRE DEPARTMENT. HE STILL GOES SKIING. HE DID SNOWBOARD SOME AND SAID THAT HE THINKS HE'S GOING TO KEEP DOING IT INSTEAD OF THE SKIING ~ THE SNOWBOARDING ISN'T AS BAD/HARD ON HIS FEET. SURE WISH YOU WERE HERE ~ I'M SURE YOU'D BE RIGHT THERE WITH HIM! HE DOESN'T SAY IT, BUT I THINK THAT HE MISSES DOING THESE KINDS OF TRIPS WITH YOU. HAVING HIS BIG BROTHER WITH HIM AND DOING THINGS TOGETHER THAT BROTHERS WHO LOVE EACH OTHER WOULD DO AND ENJOY DOING TOGETHER AND MAKE MEMORIES WHILE DOING IT. THAT'S HOW WE RAISED Y'ALL AND TAUGHT Y'ALL THAT YOU WOULD HAVE EACH OTHER...BUT...GOD HAD OTHER PLANS! DON'T GET ME ON THAT SUBJECT!! I BETTER GO...JUST REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU EACH/EVERY DAY. I SURE WISH YOU WERE HERE! LOVE YOU MY JARRETT~ALWAYS, MAMA 

TODAY: DECEMBER 31st, 2022...IT'S NOW BEEN 14yrs. SINCE YOU RAN YOUR LAST CALL. IT'S SOOOO HARD TO BELIEVE THAT IT'S ACTUALLY BEEN ''THAT'' LONG. I KNOW THAT I SAY IT EVERY YEAR THAT I WRITE SOMETHING ON YOUR ANGELVERSARY, BUT IT'S TRUE. WITH EACH / EVERY DAY THAT PASSES BY, SOMETHING NEW / DIFFERENT HAPPENS AND YOU GET LOST IN THE DAY TO DAY GRIME OF THINGS AND FOR JUST A FEW MINUTES, YOU FORGET THAT ~ THAT DAY HAS ADDED TO THE NUMBER OF DAYS THAT IT'S BEEN SINCE YOU'VE BEEN HERE...HERE WITH US...YOUR FAMILY / FRIENDS. A FRIEND OF YOURS STOPPED BY THE OTHER DAY (ROBERT BROWN) AND BROUGHT ME A POTTED PLANT. THAT WAS REALLY NICE AND THOUGHTFUL OF HIM. HE'S GOING THROUGH A LOT AS WELL. MAYBE YOU CAN VISIT HIM TO LET HIM KNOW THAT THINGS WILL TURN OUT OK AND IT WILL HELP HIM LEARN A FEW THINGS  THAT MIGHT HELP HIM IN THE FUTURE. AS USUAL, WE'RE GETTING OLDER AND OUR BODIES AREN'T THE SAME. WE FEEL EVERY ACHE / PAIN THAT COMES ALONG. THERE ARE PLENTY OF DAYS THAT I WISH I WERE THERE WITH YOU. OUT OF PAIN!! I HAVEN'T REALLY FELT LIKE DOING ANYTHING THIS YEAR. I HAVEN'T HAD THE ENERGY. I'VE GOT TO FINISH MAKING / SEWING A FEW QUILTS BEFORE IT GETS TO WHERE I CAN'T SEE TO EVEN SEW. I WISH I WERE ABLE TO DO A FEW MORE THINGS ON YOUR MEMORIAL PAGE /SITE, BUT I CAN'T FIGURE THINGS OUT. WE THOUGHT THAT WE WOULD RELEASE SOME BALLOONS, BUT AS USUAL...IT'S RAINING. RIGHT NOW, IT'S A LIGHT MISTING, BUT IT'S SUPPOSE TO RAIN THE REST OF THE DAY AND WON'T STOP UNTIL AROUND MIDNIGHT. JUST KEEP AN EYE OUT AND KNOW THAT THEY ARE FOR YOU AND ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE LOVED AND MISSED EACH / EVERY DAY.  COME VISIT ME IN MY DREAMS PLEASE ~ I'D LOVE TO SEE HOW YOU ARE DOING.  LOVE YOU MY JARRETT ~ ALWAYS...MAMA 

                      LOVE YOU MY JARRETT ~ ALWAYS, MAMA    

                 
                                  LOVE YOU MY JARRETT, ALWAYS~MAMA   

                      

IT'S NOW BEEN 13yrs. SINCE YOU RAN YOUR LAST CALL. IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT IT'S BEEN THAT LONG. I KNOW THAT I SAY IT EVERY YEAR WHEN I GET ON HERE TO TYPE, BUT... WHERE HAS TIME GONE? I NEVER THOUGHT THAT I WOULD LIVE THIS LONG WITHOUT "MY WHOLE FAMILY" BEING HERE, BUT...I HAVE. THERE HAVE BEEN PLENTY OF DAYS TO WHICH I WISH I WEREN'T HERE...TRUST ME! MY BODY IS FALLING APART AND I'M IN PAIN EVERYDAY SOMEWHERE ''IN'' MY BODY. I CAN'T ENJOY RETIREMENT AND THEREFORE...I HONESTLY DON'T WANT TO BE HERE. WHEN I GET ON YOUR SITE AND LIGHT A CANDLE, I'LL PUT ON THERE THAT I WISH YOU WERE HERE. THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE MISSING OUT ON BEING WITH YOUR BROTHER AND DOING THINGS WITH HIM. TALKING TO HIM, GOING PLACES, CUTTING UP, LAUGHING TOGETHER...JUST THINGS THAT BROTHERS DO ~ TOGETHER. AS WITH EACH YEAR THAT PASSES, I OFTEN WONDER WHAT YOU WOULD BE DOING AS FAR AS A CAREER GOES. WOULD YOU STILL BE DOING THE FIREFIGHTING THING OR WOULD YOU HAVE MOVED ON TO SOMETHING ELSE? WOULD YOU LET YOUR HAIR GROW OUT A LITTLE BIT MORE OR KEEP IT SHORT. YOUR BROTHER HAS LET HIS GROW SINCE HE IS NO LONGER A FIREFIGHTER. HE ALSO HAS A FULL BEARD AS WELL. HE'S HOPING TO ADVANCE AT WHERE HE IS IN HIS CAREER RIGHT NOW. SURE WISH YOU WERE HERE TO WATCH HIM GROW AND LISTEN TO HIM WHEN HE NEEDS A ''BROTHERLY'' EAR. NOT SURE ON HOW MUCH YOU COULD HELP HIM OUT WITH HIS 2 GIRLS. THEY CAN BE A HANDFUL AT TIMES. THEY ARE PRETTY THOUGH...HE'S REALLY GOING TO HAVE HIS HANDS FULL WHEN THEY GET ON UP IN AGE ~ BLESS HIS HEART!! I HAVEN'T HAD A VISIT FROM YOU IN SOME TIME NOW. NOT SURE WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT...BUT, I'D LIKE A VISIT FROM YOU SO I CAN AT LEAST KNOW THAT YOU ARE OK AND SEE HOW YOU ARE DOING. I MAY NOT CRY EVERY DAY...BUT, I DO STILL CRY. I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOUR BFF THIS YEAR - I DON'T THINK OR REMEMBER.  NOT SURE WHAT'S GOING ON THERE. I KNOW SHE HAS A FAMILY & WORK, BUT SURELY PEOPLE CAN FIND TIME TO VISIT YOUR SITE AND LIGHT A CANDLE TO SAY THAT THEY ARE THINKING OF YOU...THAT AT LEAST LETS ME KNOW THAT THEY STILL REMEMBER YOU AND HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN.  THE SAME GOES FOR HER SISTER AND YOUR LITTLE BUDDY WHO ISN'T SO LITTLE ANY MORE. WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN SOME TIME EITHER. PEOPLE SAY THAT PEOPLE IN HEAVEN CAN "SEE" EVERYTHING THAT'S GOING ON DOWN HERE ON EARTH...WELL THEN...I GUESS YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW THEY ARE DOING AND HOW WE ARE DOING TOO. BUT, I WOULD STILL LIKE YOU TO COME VISIT ME IN MY DREAMS! IF I CAN STAY ASLEEP LONG ENOUGH TO HAVE A DREAM. WE'RE NOT SURE IF WE ARE GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO BALLOONS OR THE SKY LANTERNS BECAUSE OF THE WEATHER. IT'S BEEN RAINING OFF AND ON FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS AND THEY ARE STILL CALLING ON IT TO RAIN EVEN MORE TONIGHT AND ALL INTO THE WEEKEND. IF WE HAVE TO WAIT AND PUT IT OFF UNTIL ANOTHER DAY ~ JUST KNOW THAT WE HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN YOU AND YOUR ANGELVERSARY DATE.  NOT SURE HOW ANYONE CAN TO BE HONEST. I MEAN IT'S THE LAST DAY OF THE YEAR ~ EACH / EVERY YEAR.  I KNOW THAT PEOPLE CELEBRATE IT AS THE ENDING OF ONE YEAR AND TRYING TO RING IN A HAPPY NEW YEAR AND BEGINNING FOR THE NEXT...BUT, IT NO LONGER MEANS THAT TO US. (ME & YOUR DADDY).  AS YOU HAVE NOTICED, I'VE FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO ADD A FEW PICTURES TO YOUR FRONT PAGE...YAY FOR ME! IT'S BEEN SOMETHING ELSE - LET ME TELL YOU! ANYWAY, JUST KNOW THAT WE LOVE AND MISS YOU EACH AND EVERY DAY. SURE WISH YOU WERE STILL HERE ON EARTH WITH US. BE SURE TO WATCH OVER AND PROTECT US UNTIL WE GET THERE TO BE WITH YOU IN HEAVEN. 

LOVE YOU MY JARRETT ~ ALWAYS, MAMA 

                             
                               A CANDLE LIGHT AS BRIGHT AS CAN BE,
                               JUST FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO SEE,
                               FROM HEAVENS GATE STRAIGHT TO MY FRONT DOOR,
                               THIS IS FOR YOU ANGLES GALORE
                                         

                                       WE MAY NOT VISIT EVERY DAY
                                       BUT THOUGHTS OF YOU AREN'T FAR AWAY
                                       THE TEARS STILL FLOW 
                                       WITH THOUGHTS OF YOU 
                                       EVEN THROUGH THE YEARS OF YESTERDAY 
                                       THE TEARS STILL FLOW  



LOVE YOU MY JARRETT~ALWAYS, MAMA

IT'S NOW BEEN 12yrs., 1 mo. and 17 days SINCE YOU RAN YOUR LAST CALL.  I'VE CONSIDERED MYSELF ''RETIRED'' SINCE DEC. 31st, 2020 (SAME DATE AS YOUR LAST CALL ~ ONLY THE YEAR IS NOW 12 YRS. LATER).  I'M TRYING TO DO A LITTLE CLEANING AND THOUGHT THAT I COULD CLEAN YOUR FILING CABINET.  I WAS WANTING TO COMBINE BOTH YOUR FILES AND MY FILES INTO ONE CABINET.  WHEN I STARTED ON YOURS...I GOT TO LOOKING AT ALL THE THINGS INSIDE AND FOUND A TON OF PHOTOS.  OF COURSE, I HAD TO OPEN AND LOOK INSIDE OF EACH ONE.  THAT PUT ME IN A DEPRESSION STATE.  WITH EACH PHOTO...I COULD JUST FEEL THE TEARS WELLING UP INSIDE.  THEN CAME THE PHOTOS OF THE WRECKED FIRE TRUCK THAT YOU WERE DRIVING.  THAT DONE ME IN....I THINK I'M DONE FOR THE DAY.  I'LL HAVE TO TRY IT ANOTHER TIME.  I JUST WASN'T EXPECTING IT.  I WASN'T AS PREPARED AS I THOUGHT I WAS.  I GUESS I THOUGHT THAT AFTER 12yrs., 1 mo. and 17 days AFTER YOU RAN YOUR LAST CALL...SOMEHOW...I WOULD BE OK.  WHO KNEW THAT I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO JUST CLEAN OUT A FILING CABINET???  

I WILL SAY THAT I DID LIKE MOST ~ IF NOT ALL OF THE PHOTOS THAT I FOUND AND LOOKED AT.  THEY DID BRING BACK MEMORIES.  I'M SO AFRAID THAT I'M GOING TO FORGET WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.  YOU KNOW...WITH AGE...THE MEMORY GOES AND OLDER PEOPLE END UP GETTING DEMENTIA (WHERE THEY CAN NO LONGER REMEMBER THINGS FROM THEIR PAST ~ INCLUDING PEOPLE).  I JUST HOPE THAT WHEN I GET THERE...YOU'LL BE THERE AND WILL BE ABLE TO RECOGNIZE ME.  I'VE GAINED MORE WEIGHT AND FOR RIGHT NOW, MY HAIR IS A LITTLE LONGER.  I STILL PULL IT BACK TO KEEP IT OUT OF MY EYES.  SO, I HOPE THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO RECOGNIZE ME.  

UNTIL THEN...JUST REMEMBER THAT WE ALL MISS YOU AND WISH YOU WERE HERE.  
LOVE YOU MY JARRETT~ALWAYS, MAMA 

HE'S IN THE SUN, THE WIND, THE RAIN.
HE'S IN THE AIR YOU BREATHE EVERYDAY
HE SINGS A SONG OF HOPE AND CHEER 
   THERE'S NO MORE PAIN 
   NO MORE FEAR.
YOU'LL SEE HIM IN THE CLOUDS ABOVE,
   HEAR HIM WHISPER WORDS OF LOVE
YOU'LL BE TOGETHER BEFORE TOO LONG,
UNTIL THEN...JUST LISTEN FOR HIS SONG.

WELL, IT'S NOW BEEN 12yrs. SINCE YOU RAN YOUR LAST CALL.  IT'S REALLY HARD TO BELIEVE THAT IT'S BEEN THAT LONG SINCE WE'VE SEEN YOUR FACE AND HEARD YOUR VOICE.  I OFTEN WONDER WHAT YOU WOULD LOOK LIKE.  YOU SAID THAT YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WERE TOO SKINNY...WOULD YOU BE A LITTLE BIGGER OR WOULD YOU TRY TO STAY SLIM?  WOULD YOU KEEP SHAVING YOUR HEAD OR WOULD YOU LET YOUR HAIR GROW OUT JUST A LITTLE?  WOULD YOU STILL BE TRYING TO DO 2 OR MORE JOBS AT THE SAME TIME OR WOULD YOU HAVE JUST DECIDED ON JUST WORKING 1 JOB?  WOULD YOU HAVE KEPT YOUR WHITE TRUCK OR TRADED IT?  THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS THAT GO THROUGH MY MIND.  I FEEL LIKE ONLY ANOTHER MOTHER WHO HAD LOST A CHILD WOULD FULLY UNDERSTAND THIS. 

THIS YEAR HAS BEEN A HARD YEAR FOR SO MANY PEOPLE IN GENERAL.  THE CORONA VIRUS WHICH MADE IT'S APPEARANCE HAS RUINED THE LIVES OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE.  I ENDED UP MAKING FACE MASKS FOR THE FAMILY AND A FEW FRIENDS AS WELL.  IT MAY BE SOMETHING THAT I'LL CONTINUE TO DO FOR SOME TIME...WE'LL SEE.

IT'S A LIGHT SPRINKLE OF A RAIN RIGHT NOW AND WE THOUGHT WE WOULD TRY TO DO THE SKY LANTERNS AGAIN, BUT IF THEY DIDN'T WORK, YOUR DADDY THOUGHT ABOUT JUST DOING REGULAR BALLOONS.  EITHER WAY, HOPE YOU SEE 'EM AND KNOW THAT THEY ARE FOR YOU.

WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON WITH TODAY'S DATE....I WILL BE OFFICALLY ''RETIRED''.  MY BODY HAS BROKEN DOWN AND I CAN NO LONGER DO THE JOB THAT IS REQUIRED OF IT TO DO.  I'LL BE GLAD WHEN IT'S ALL OVER WITH AND THE PAPERWORK IS TURNED IN!  
 
I HAD A TOTAL KNEE REPLACEMENT THIS YEAR AND WELL, THAT DIDN'T GO AS PLANNED.  I'VE HAD NOTHING BUT TROUBLE / ISSUES WITH IT AND I REGRET HAVING IT DONE!!  I CRIED EVERY DAY FOR 4 1/2 MONTHS.  PUT IT THIS WAY: I NEED TO HAVE MY LEFT KNEE DONE...BUT, WON'T!! I'LL JUST HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE PAIN FOR AS LONG AS I CAN.  I'LL WALK/USE A CANE WHEN I LEAVE THE HOUSE BECAUSE IT STILL GIVES OUT ON ME.  SO, AS OF RIGHT NOW...I WON'T HAVE SURGERY.  

I HOPE THAT YOU KNOW THAT WE ALL LOVE AND MISS YOU EACH AND EVERY DAY.  WHEN I SAY THAT I WISH YOU WERE HERE...I FEEL THAT OUR FAMILY ISN'T "WHOLE" LIKE OTHER FAMILIES WHO HAVE EVERY SINGLE FAMILY MEMBER STILL WITH 'EM.  THERE'S JUST AN EMPTY SPOT / A HOLE THAT CAN'T AND WON'T BE FILLED BY ANYONE.  YOU ARE FOREVER LOVED AND MISSED.  

LOVE YOU MY JARRETT~ALWAYS, MAMA XO

JARRETT'S VALENTINE SIGGIE:  

JARRETT'S VALENTINE NAME SIGGIE:

JARRETT'S SNOW DAY SIGGIE: 

JARRETT'S VALENTINE NAME SIGGIE:

ISN'T THIS AN AWESOME GIFT? THOUGHT YOU WOULD LIKE IT AS YOUR BACKGROUND.                                                     LOVE YOU MY JARRETT~ALWAYS, MAMA